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You Can’t Do It All. It’s OK to Accept Help Before You Become Exhausted
When people offer to help, the answer should always be “YES.” It is normal to want to do it all yourself but you will need help and you can accept it. Have a list of chores or things people can do to help you, whether it is bringing a meal, running errands, helping with washing clothes, or staying with your loved one while you care for yourself. The list will allow people to choose what they feel comfortable doing. Send a text or email thanking them for the help. Having a list of chores will improve offers of help from family and friends. It is harder to ask for help than to accept it when it is offered, so don’t wait until you “really need it” to get support.
Help can come in a variety of ways. My daughter visits every Saturday with her young son. He is so pleasant. He brings a smile to my Dad's face. They stay for about an hour. He crawls around and we play 'pick a boo'. My grandson plays 'high five' with my dad. The visit helps break up the slowness of the day.
My niece and her daughter visited for 5 days. They helped in so many ways but helping me smile was the biggest help. We talked and laughed. Having someone around during the day to be there with me when my parents are resting was a relief. To have my nieces experience my routine helps give me the opportunity to talk to them in the future. If I am having a rough day or something isn't going right, I can vent to my nieces and they will understand what I am talking about and listen.
Help can come in a variety of ways. My sister struggles to visit my home because we have lots of steps. She cooks meals for my Dad and our family and sends them over. She makes cookies, and appetizers too. This gives me a break from cooking every night. My sister cooks similarly to my Mother's cooking, so it's definitely a treat when my sister cooks for us.
My brother picks my Dad up one day a week and takes him to lunch. It's only for about one hour but it gives me a chance to take a mental break and sit and relax.
My niece picks my dad up one day a week and takes him to daycare. I need to have him ready but it gives me approximately 45 minutes of time since I am not driving him there.
Door to Door shopping is my new best friend. I had my sister set up an account with Walmart. I told her what I need and she set up the order and placed the order. The order arrives at my doorstep. This saves me time from shopping, bringing my Dad to the store, or getting coverage for my Dad when I go shopping. Once, you place an order, you can reorder frequently purchased items.
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