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#1 bathing and showering are difficult activities and can become irritating. I tell my dad we are having company or that we are going to church.
I plug in the wall heater to warm up the bathroom He goes into the bathroom.
I put on a small heater that plugs into the wall. It heats the bathroom within minutes.
I place a scented disk in the shower so it will smell good while he is showering. I use the lavender scent to help keep him calm. I play his music on the CD player while we are in the bathroom.
I have him empty his pockets Give me his socks and shoes Then shirt. I tell him they are going into the wash I have his new diaper and new pants in the bathroom
I put baby shampoo in his hair before he enters the shower. I tell him to get in the shower
I hand him a wash cloth with soap. Then I sneak in And take the dirty diaper and dirty pants After the shower
He gets dressed
I have all of his clothes in the bathroom. I put his diaper on first then deodorant, shirt, and pants. HINT put his belt on his pants before you put his pants on. It is easier to loop the belt before he has the pants on. I have him sit on the toilet and put his socks on him. As I am dressing him, I have him tell me what we are doing. I have him name the items of clothing we are putting on him. I help him shave. Then we go to his bedroom to finish getting ready #2 Hiring help is a good idea. I feel that my dad is less argumentative with a new face or professional. I asked my son to come over to help me sometimes. He told my dad they were going to go out to lunch. He said, “come on Pops hop in the shower you got to get cleaned up and changed ‘shower and shave‘ that’s what we do.” My dad did it without a fuss even brushed his teeth. Then, my son took him out for a little bit and brought him home and it was a perfect day.
#3 Keep it simple. Some days we do a sponge bath in the sink. Change clothes and brush your teeth. #4 Doctor's notes We had my dad's doctor print out several notes on letterhead and on prescription pads. Take a shower every morning at 9 :00 A M. We have notes that say different things. My dad doesn't usually want to disappoint the doctor. One notes states, "eat breakfast every day." Another note says, "DO NOT YELL AT YOUR DAUGHTER". One note says, "take your pills". I also have the doctor recorded on my cell phone with messages. I save them like a voicemail. I play them often. Mostly, I use the one that says, "take a shower".'
#5 My dad thinks he is showering and changing clothes every day but he isn't showering or putting on clean clothes. I take a picture of him with me. The next day, I show him the picture and say, 'You have to change. You wore that outfit yesterday
I want to treasure my time with my dad. I don’t want to focus on the challenges we face. my husband and I were away for a few weeks to help his parents on their farm. My sisters stayed at my house with my dad. They took him to my sister's house but it was a disaster. The change in scenery was too much for him.
They took him back to my house and stayed with him.
when I returned
he was speechless. He smiled and tried to talk. He was so thrilled to see me. He said, “ don’t ever leave me again.” I want to hold onto that smiling face in my mind. He called me Dolores, that was my Mom’s name
but I think he said that because he knew Dolores was the most important person in his life now it’s me!
lavender-scented balms for the shower
baby shampoo
wall heater with number display
heats the bathroom in minutes
shower chair
shower bar grips for safety
Do you need help?
You Can’t Do It All. It’s OK to Accept Help Before You Become Exhausted
When people offer to help, the answer should always be “YES.” It is normal to want to do it all yourself but you will need help and you can accept it. Have a list of chores or things people can do to help you, whether it is bringing a meal, running errands, helping with washing clothes, or staying with your loved one while you care for yourself. The list will allow people to choose what they feel comfortable doing. Send a text or email thanking them for the help. Having a list of chores will improve offers of help from family and friends. It is harder to ask for help than to accept it when it is offered, so don’t wait until you “really need it” to get support. My sister is not healthy and cannot come over so she cooks meals for my dad and we pick them up from her house. She also completes my online store orders so I don't have to food shop.
Help can come in a variety of ways. My daughter visits with her daughter and her son. They are so pleasant. My grandchildren bring a smile to my dad's face. They stay for about an hour. The kids crawl around and we play 'pick a boo'. My grandson plays 'high five' with my dad. The visit helps break up the slowness of the day.
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